• Dick of the Week (July 23rd 2021)

July 23, 2021

Dick of the Week

This week's Dick of the Week is a Pastor. 


Yep, honestly, I AM going there. 
And, so long as I make it through this whole typing session without being smited by the 'The Mighty Smiter' which I absolutely don't think will happen because, well, He'd ABSOLUTELY agree with me, then I'd very much appreciate your own thoughts on this subject.
Now before we go too much further, let me start by saying I am NOT an atheist. 
I am a God fearing woman (albeit with a side of total bitch on occasion and a pretty salty tongue) and one of the closest people to me in the world is a Pastor and I know one million percent that she will not excommunicate me for this rant.
So hush, before you throw your iPad at the wall and start screaming 'Burn her! Burn the Heretic!' by the end of this, I bet you'll agree with me.
A very large local church has a well known pastor who some years ago performed a question and answer session for his congregation. They could ask him anything at all about faith, life, what God wants from us etc. A few of you reading this may have even been there that day. 
One person asked if pets go to heaven and everyone immediately perked up, because of course, most of the congregation had pets. 
His answer? No they don't. 
According to this man, (who, prior to this I thought was a fairly sensible geezer) only HUMANS go to heaven, because only THEY are capable of moral judgement, reason... and have been given dominion over all of the animals. 
So basically, two legs in, four legs out.
Fair play, I get where he's coming from, but meh...not buying it, because that's only one bit of the argument and a little too slanted in the favor of the two legged folks for my liking. Seems to me like he's preaching from a book that he only read part of, to be honest and that's SO not okay if you're a teacher. 
When I heard this, I changed churches immediately.
In the book of Isaiah we are told that the 'wolf shall dwell with the lamb, the leopard shall lie down with the kid' and then goes on to mention a whole host of other animals that will all be there, partying hearty together, having a grand old time.
No, puppies and kittens aren't mentioned but I'm pretty sure that God in all his infinite wisdom is not going to be saying, "I'll take a leopard, a wolf, a lion, a calf, a goat...no dogs, though. Sorry, just not a big fan of dogs. They bark too much, one jumped up on me once and ruined my white suit...yeah, not a fan, sorry Fido. And don't even get me STARTED on cats!”
......Yeah, I saw that movie "Bruce Almighty' and now when I think of God, Morgan Freeman in a white suit springs immediately to mind.
So what are the chances of God, the all powerful creator, lover of all things great and small, saying any of the above? 
I'd say zero. 
I know that since I have known the insurmountable joy of having a squillion dogs in my life, I am a better person. I have a million miles more to go but I am better than I was. Dogs gave me that gift and I take their inclusion in my life as a gift from God. The greatest ever gift, actually.  Everyone I know feels exactly the same, yes, even my pastor friend.
We all feel that dogs are literally angels living with us here on earth....accessible angels without wings that we can touch, smell, who help us through every down day, share our laughter, lift us up, give us gateways to connect with others, show us how to care, give our life meaning……
I told a friend this morning that I was writing this and asked her if she could share the number one, absolute best thing about having a dog and she said 'Having a friendship with a dog is the closest thing to being with God.’
Exactly. 
And the big guy would NEVER deprive us of a gift that means everything to so many of us.  
So, first of all, NOW do you agree with me that this was a d*ckish thing for that pastor to say? 
And secondly, if he was right, who of us would ever want to go to heaven anyway?



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